______________________
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
|
We are all born with the same set of basic emotional responses, including: Interest Joy Surprise Fear Distress Anger Shame These “affects” have significant survival value in helping us to react quickly to important events in our immediate environment. Although we are born with some automatic responses such as a surprise and distress response to a sudden loud noise, more specific responses must be learned.
For example: we have to learn to react to a poisonous snake with fear or to a hot stove with caution. As children, we learn many complex emotional responses to our environment in a short period of time.
Some of the responses we learn are very helpful.
Some become obsolete but we do not forget them.
Some are mistakes that we never correct, and we continue self-defeating emotional responses to certain situations.
And some very useful emotional responses we may never learn, because no one teaches us.
These can be thought of as “learnable emotional skills.” Research indicates that persons who master these skills have a distinct advantage in meeting the complex interpersonal challenges of life (See Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman) and work (See Working with Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman) It is great if you learn these skills when you are young. Learning the fundamentals early is always an advantage. But it is possible to learn these skills later in life, and they are always beneficial. |
||||||||||
How much do you want it? Learning a complex skill is not only Children learn very efficiently by imitation. It is easier for them because they are An adult has to want the skill enough to overcome existing habits that are easy because they have already been mastered. Wait for it. Plan for it. If you want it enough, and you understand that it is not a quick and easy thing to do, you will be willing to make a plan to learn it. You can get help in formulating your plan. You can even get help in wanting it more! Self help books can be useful. A coach who understands the territory can be very helpful. Practice, practice, practice Your brain is always changing. New synaptic connections are being made every day. New learning continues all the time. The two operative forces of emotional arousal and repetition. If you don’t choose how you want to change, you will tend to repeat what you know – thereby changing your brain by unplanned repetition – making it more and more like the old habits. |
||||||||||
|
Individual or group coaching can help you :
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
